Being an astronaut means diaper rash? Never had I thunk it…

It never really occurred to me that astronauts must wear diapers while they’re sealed into their space-suits! This wasn’t taught in school, well, not in any of the schools in which I was an inmate, at any rate. None of my teachers were cool enough to discuss space poo’ing. 😦 I’m very dissapointed, especially with every single science warden who was tasked with “teaching” me stuff. At best, one of them stated she had many times consumed fried worms and swore they taste just like French fries, and I guess this was necessary information because we were dissecting worms. And in college, A&PII professor, was a fussy old lady, but a really cool fussy old lady because she assigned a guy who worked at a slaughter house to bring in all his finest pig hearts for us to dissect bc I guess our school didn’t know how to acquire whole animal corpses to dissect, and forget about human cadavers. No chance. He did, of course. He put them all in a big cooler filled with Isopropyl alcohol. I was super stoked too because I couldn’t wait to feel the chordae tendinae which reminded me of the texture of Freddy kreuger’s face & ever since I was a child I have wished he was real so I could f eel the texture of his face. But this is a secret, so don’t tell anyone, ok? I can’t have everyone thinking I’m a weirdo or some kind of degenerate face-feeling pervert. Or that I really love cutting up the innards of dead creatures and playing with them because it feels really cool when I squish them in my fist. I’m a responsible adult who is completely “normal.” 100%. Nor.mal. 

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